you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
