Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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