I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
