And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
