But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
