Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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