he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
