Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
