Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
