do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize