I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
