I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
