What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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