My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
