I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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