we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
