He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
