I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Randomize
