Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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