We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
