she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
