she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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