She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
