He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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