Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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