We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
