So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
