only if we run a train.
done.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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