i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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