ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
