please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize