girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
