We're facebook friends in real life
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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