Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
