Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
4 words: hood of his car
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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