She's JV to your varsity
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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