I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
