im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
