oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
