i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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