i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
