She went from zero to smokin in five shots
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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