Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
