Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
