Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
