yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize