that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
