So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
