Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The feeling are messing with the penis
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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