mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize