I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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