Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
