I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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