don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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