Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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