I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
