All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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