I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm passing your future prison.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
