So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
