Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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