if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
