i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
her vagine was all disorganized.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize