i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
