i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
