Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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