Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
