I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
A bitchslap is in order.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize