is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
