mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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