Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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