so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
