Fuck appropriateness.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
