I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
