it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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