Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
