his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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